Creative Destruction

November 16, 2007

Got Abs?

Filed under: Content-lite,Navel Gazing — Brutus @ 12:07 am

This post is truly about navel gazing. (Just trying to push Fuck Jew down the page ….) I learned about a new service called abdominal etching, which essentially gives the appearance of a washboard stomach without the need for crunches, sit-ups, and low body mass index. This WSJ article tells the story. This part in particular is pretty scary:

The procedure takes an hour or two. But pain can persist for days afterward. Swelling can last for weeks or even months. (The after picture was taken a little over a year after the surgery.) And there can be complications, such as infection and bleeding.

Here’s the picture that accompanies the story if you’re too lazy to click through:

abs

The part I really like about this is the obvious (yet unforeseen?) result when the 30-year-old guy who has this done turns into a 45-year-old couch potato with an etched beer belly. I want to see that picture in a few years.

14 Comments »

  1. Ummmm… No. Just no. Doesn’t even look right. The dimensions are all off. And uneven, like a transsexual that got a bad boob-job and is lopsided. And certain studies have shown that symmetry is a factor of beauty. (And yes. I know transsexuals who had ham-handed implant surgeons. Don’t ask. Long story.)

    And I highly doubt it would pass the most important test of them all: the contact test. Unsuspecting sexual partner running their hand down those squishy ab ruffles would, I believe, quickly be heading for the exit.

    Comment by Off Colfax — November 16, 2007 @ 6:12 am | Reply

  2. not to be a pessimist, but one very possible surgical complication is death. not worth it.

    Comment by greywhitie — November 16, 2007 @ 10:33 am | Reply

  3. “And certain studies have shown that symmetry is a factor of beauty.”

    thanks for the reference, but we really don’t need a “pro” to tell us that. what i find perturbing is the need to refer to what a “professional” thinks in order to validate our point. if you, off colfax, think that symmetry is a factor of beauty, then i will give you the benefit of the doubt. gee wheez!

    Comment by greywhitie — November 16, 2007 @ 12:29 pm | Reply

  4. one more thing, and i can’t find any scientific study to support this fact, some folks find immense beauty in incongruence. but then again, many more folks think that picasso art is ugly. some folk don’t care about what the majority thinks.

    i am not against fancy scientific studies carried out by folk with fancy degrees. sometimes, however, methinks it would serve these folks and the rest of us well if they found something fancier to do with their time and money.

    Comment by greywhitie — November 16, 2007 @ 1:09 pm | Reply

  5. Actually, no. I find intelligence to be a factor of beauty far greater than physical symmetry. But whenever possible, the ethics of the blogosphere (and especially here at CD) require citations for provable claims.

    For incongruence in aesthetics, try searching through databases for studies of the art of Japanese noise music.

    Comment by Off Colfax — November 16, 2007 @ 4:28 pm | Reply

  6. Actually, no. I find intelligence to be a factor of beauty far greater than physical symmetry.

    That’s why you’re a great wingman, OC.

    Comment by Robert — November 16, 2007 @ 4:31 pm | Reply

  7. The procedure takes an hour or two. But pain can persist for days afterward. Swelling can last for weeks or even months. (The after picture was taken a little over a year after the surgery.) And there can be complications, such as infection and bleeding.

    If he had exercised and eaten properly, he would have gotten better results in the same amount of time. And without infections or bleeding.

    Comment by TS — November 16, 2007 @ 8:25 pm | Reply

  8. “If he had exercised and eaten properly, he would have gotten better results in the same amount of time. And without infections or bleeding.”

    but that would have been no fun. better to go for instant gratification and instant results through a pill or going under the knife for a couple hours. in addition to fat cells, this guy probably had a couple grand to burn. maybe several thousand grand to burn.

    Comment by greywhitie — November 16, 2007 @ 9:24 pm | Reply

  9. okay, this issue has kept me up all night thinking, yes, proper diet and exercise certainly contribute to physical wellbeing, but we all know that some things are out of our conscious control. some folks have thyroid problems and other medical conditions that keep their metabolism from working right, so that no matter how hard they exercise or eat properly, they just cannot take off the extra fat in their bodies. it would be unfair to blame overweightness or obesity on the individual.

    as a side note, an australian nutritionist has recommended that airliners charge fat people extra fare for carrying extra weight (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7090529.stm) now, that is not going to fly, not down under and certainly not in the u.s. what kind of discrimination is that? fat people feel bad enough as it is about their body image, and now some nuthead wants to charge them extra for flying? they don’t charge babies for flying if they sit on their parents’ lap. many folks carry lots of extra luggage full of crap and don’t get charged for it. yes, the obesity epidemic is spreading around the world, but charging folks extra for flying is certainly not the way to deal with the problem. but then again, it’s an ausie who suggested that. i don’t know much about australian culture, but i hope that this is not typical or stereotypical.

    Comment by greywhitie — November 17, 2007 @ 10:18 am | Reply

  10. When I put up this post, I was thinking it funny because one had to be dumb, dumb, dumb to consider such a procedure. It’s now morphed a bit into a fat acceptance issue. Should I go back and add that tag to the post?

    Greywhitie, please don’t lose any more sleep over this issue. It doesn’t appear that anyone is arguing with you. It must be a hot button issue for you.

    Comment by Brutus — November 17, 2007 @ 12:29 pm | Reply

  11. well, life is not a straight line. when you put up a post, you can’t possibly expect people to follow the linear brick road.

    i wasn’t losing sleep because anyone was arguing with me. all my buttons are hot buttons. i have no cool buttons. always putting iron in the fire, so to speak.

    i wish i could say that fat issues were no issues for me. my weight has been all over the place the last 2 years. at one point i was praying that it would not drop below 100 lbs. no i’m trying to keep the lid at 800 lb.

    okay, i will try not to lose anymore sleep over this. will try to think skinny thoughts.

    Comment by greywhitie — November 17, 2007 @ 12:52 pm | Reply

  12. Eh, I think he looked better in the “before” picture, but my taste is said to be eccentric.

    Comment by Dianne — November 17, 2007 @ 3:01 pm | Reply

  13. actually, dianne, i think you have very good taste. i looked much better at 600 lb than at 100 lb. but now i weigh 789 lb, and, unfortunately, too much of a good thing is bad for you.

    Comment by greywhitie — November 17, 2007 @ 3:25 pm | Reply

  14. Someone wrote:

    “If he had exercised and eaten properly, he would have gotten better results in the same amount of time. And without infections or bleeding.”

    Sadly this is also part of the misconception of the human body. It is impossible for men to get abs at a later age without using drugs and hormones. (the guy on the picture is nearly 50).

    Even Lance Amstrong, who, if you ask me was quite in shape, does not have abs. So what is the difference between popping pills that permanently damage your kidney or having these implants? I see none.

    Comment by Vilon — December 4, 2007 @ 4:10 pm | Reply


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