Creative Destruction

July 23, 2007

Seventeen, Not Ten

Filed under: Humor — Off Colfax @ 7:36 pm

Remember the Vatican’s 10 Commandments For Driving?

  1. You shall not kill.
  2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
  3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
  4. Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents.
  5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
  6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
  7. Support the families of accident victims.
  8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
  9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
  10. Feel responsible toward others.

Someone just added to it. While normally I would be crowing with glee at the sheer sacrilege, particularly at that stuffy moralitese the Pontiff’s office spewed out, this time I crow with laughter. Particularly at Number 17:

17: Thou Shalt Give Pedestrians the Right of Way In the Crosswalk:

It says so right in the Bible: “Crosswalks are for pedestrians, o ye jerks! Let the two-legged go first or ye shall spend eternity in a fiery crosswalk being run over by a cabbie cackling on his cell phone.”

At least, I think that’s what it says.

Anyway, it should. And that’s the god’s honest truth.

O my brothers, can I get a “Heh. Indeed!”

[Walk Signal: TMV]



  1. Heh. Indeed! Yea, verily I say unto thee, I almost got creameth this very eve by one of those charriots of the damned while trodding one of those paths of pedestrian perril. When my time had come and gone without me, all I could do was stand there on the other side wailing and gnashing my teeth in anger. Woe is me! (Should there be a Vatican III?)

    Comment by presentpeace — July 23, 2007 @ 9:18 pm | Reply

  2. Pardon my Rs! I’m still gnashing my teeth.

    Comment by presentpeace — July 23, 2007 @ 9:26 pm | Reply

  3. Off Colfax, I am trying to figure out if you live in a college town. I’ve lived in a couple college towns, one of which I was a student/pedestrian/biker. That wasn’t much of a town then or now, and there weren’t too many cars, so pedestrian me was safe for the most part. Now I live in a college town area, where the big campus is downtown of town. I avoid downtown of that town like the plague. Students have no concept of street lights; either that, or they are colorblind. I have not heard of anyone getting run over downtown of that town yet, but not too far from downtown of that town was a big street where two students were killed for crossing the street. Now, that was a different situation. Those two students did not deserve to die (now, I am NOT saying that anyone deserves to die) because there were no street lights.

    I have a very interesting theory regarding the automobile and a bunch of red light defying pedestrian college students, but this being a public forum, and internet communication can be monitored by KBG squirrel spies, I am not going to share my theory.

    Comment by greywhitie — July 24, 2007 @ 10:29 pm | Reply

  4. I have lived in many a college town, both as driver and pedestrian. Currently, I live in a major metropolitan area with no less than two major universities, a host of smaller universities, and more community colleges than you can shake a grant proposal at. And currently my sole options of transportation are either public or pedestrian.

    And the problem with the observation of color-blind pedestrians is, in my view AS a pedestrian, more of a misunderstanding of the rules regarding rights-of-way rather than any physical or genetic defect.

    Comment by Off Colfax — July 25, 2007 @ 7:19 pm | Reply

  5. I guess they don’t teach you how to cross the street properly in college. Yes, pedestrians have the right of way, but red means red and green means green, whether you’re traveling on 2 or 4 legs.

    Comment by greywhitie — July 26, 2007 @ 3:54 am | Reply

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