Dear University of Nebraska
Your computer network is being used to infringe the copyrights in our music. Our investigations into how this has come about has revealed two principal causes.
1. YOUR decision to set up YOUR computer network to best facilitate YOUR purposes.
2. OUR decision to sell copies of OUR music to untrustworthy people.
We could prevent the infringement by not distributing our music, or by limiting the distribution to people we could trust, but we wouldn’t make much money doing that. In fact, we figure we can make the most money by selling copies to anyone who can pay, and by getting other people (i.e. YOU) to protect US from the negative consequences of OUR decision to do so. You can do this by setting up YOUR computer network to best facilitate OUR purposes, and by doing the investigation necessary to determine which of OUR customers are untrustworthy.
Naturally we don’t intend to pay you for this service, and we think YOU should bear all the costs incurred.
PS, we want to know who our untrustworthy customers are so we can sue them. We don’t intend to stop selling them copies of our music.